The Misfire Tree

"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch) 06/05/2015 at 12:24 • Filed to: miata, 327, chevette, hooker hole louisiana

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My 327 falls out of the misfire tree and hits every branch on the way down.

We’re outside Hooker Hole, Louisiana, home of the Hooker Hole Diggers, the local foot-related sports team. My primered-out mystery Chevette has decided to pack it in, opting for a life of retirement on some ancient Barrett-Jackson fetishist’s back lawn rather than the sheer adventure and heinous physical abuse (”The Harshness”) that only I can dole out. I don’t hold it against the piece of shit, I say to it as I break a JDM road flare off in the fuel filler hole and walk away.

I assess the situation. My options for transportation are relatively limited. I think back to my operational training: first, secure shelter. Then, secure a bad ass hot rod. I hit the bricks. Within a month I have taken over the local lawnmower repair shop from the retired machinist that owned it. It was really a strange disappearance, the townsfolk tell me. Now that they’re my neighbors, they’ve warmed up to the peculiar outsider in their midst, clucking joyfully at my inability to take the combined heat of the atmospheric conditions and the air compressor’s exhaust while I air ratchet together something deeply awful.

My dad - a bohemian art student - used to always tell me that a man’s greatest work is to understand himself. If that’s the case, I must be a lifted ‘93 Miata on knobby tires with an Eaton blower sticking out of the jaggedly sawzall’d hood.

and 100 more > Seat Safety Switch 06/12/2015 at 16:37

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This is so awesome!